I remember a critique I once did for a lady who was selling Recumbent Tricycles. She had never written copy before… and it showed. Her web copy was really bad… and didn’t have a hope of selling one trike – let alone make her a healthy income. Here’s an excerpt of the copywriting advice I offered in the critique:

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I’m going to be blunt and say that your copy needs a LOT of work.

NOTE: This critique may seem a little harsh, but take heart. All copywriters have been there! I hope you find these notes helpful.

You need to start re-writing your copy from scratch… here’s how:

STEP 1: Identify your target market… where is your traffic coming from? My bet is that someone who types “recumbant tricycle” into Google may actually want one of these… they’re seriously interested. This paragraph would simply turn them off:

“A trike? You’ve got to be kidding. That’s for decrepit old farts. I’d look like a FOOL riding around my neighborhood on a tricycle. Thanks but … No Thanks.”

STEP 2: Find your ‘hook’. From reading your page, here’s what stands out as a potential hook:

limits aches and pains !

STEP 3: Start with your story. How did you get into these trikes? Why do you know so much?

Tip: the very tricky thing with stories is to tell the story about yourself… without sounding ‘me, me, me’. Use the word ‘you’… for example:

“Like you, I love to ride…. blah, blah…”

“Perhaps you too have suffered a riding injury… aches and pains …”

“Did you want to quit biking altogether? You know, I actually did…”

…. That’s when I discovered trikes… blah blah… Here’s what a trike can do for you…”

STEP 4: List lots of bullets with trike benefits…

STEP 5: Put some work (I mean hours!) into your headline.

STEP 6: Swipe:

Take a look around at some great saleletter-style websites. See how they open their copy with a powerful headline and opening paragraph. Don’t copy their phrases word for word… but follow the general layout and flow.

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So, by following these 6 steps, you’re off to a great start. You will also need to work on an offer and call-to-action to close the sales process… but we’ll save that for another post.